Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 34: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Why do I always find myself stressing out?

The other day I was buying something at the GNC in the mall and they gave me a free magazine (like always). But, this time, I decided to actually flip through it. (What the hell..might as well). I came across an article about "ANT"- I forget what the "A" stands for (I guess I could google it) but basically it's always dwelling on the Negative Thoughts. I find myself experiencing "ANT" a lot lately, but this isn't my first time. I've always been this way. I'm so focused on the negative that I can't enjoy the positive; So afraid of making a fool of myself, or having to endure negative feedback, that I'm keeping myself from taking a risk. 

I don't want to live this way anymore. Especially as a new LT (who starts training in about 3 weeks or so, mind you). I want to be able to step outside all this negative thinking and "just do". Maybe if I make myself believe that's how I want to be, it'll actually happen. 

Yeah, I'm moving from my apartment next month and have a list of tasks to do (paint the wall, renew driver's license and tags, pack, pay bills, etc...) but it will get done without a doubt. I need to stop that stressing crap. I'm gonna give myself wrinkles too early...or worse...a heart attack. 

Yeah, I'm leaving my parents and diving into adulthood of having to pay bills and deal with finances. I've got so many people to help me. I have to stop thinking that I'm the only one in the world who can deal with my issues. They have financial advisers for dealing with finances, ya know.

And, of course, I'm leaving my boyfriend. Why can I not stop dwelling at that fact? I'll still see him through Skype and, you know what, he's right. We won't get the chance to miss each other. We might not be able to hold one another and physically "be there", but we have all this wonderful communication at our disposable and that he knows I'll surely exploit to the fullest. 

Quit the worrying, LT Slacker. You're bound to make A BUNCH of mistakes in life. Take risks, and listen to Eleanor Roosevelt for once in your life (or Nike).

"Just do it!"- Nike